Faulty Matches

You will see this eventually.

I was so sure about what I was about to do before I actually went and did it. Just the sequence of events that happened over the past few weeks and the irony/coincidence of it all made me believe that it was something that needed to be done. But now I'm not so sure. I've been having the feeling that I may have made a mistake, but I guess that's just a feeling that goes hand in hand with leaving someone behind. Right now, I feel that my life is at a standstill, and when that happens is the only time I look into the past. I hate doing that. And it confuses the hell out of me for no reason. You can't change the past. Everything happens for a reason. All the cliches, they're true so there's no need to dwell on it, but I am. I just really really need a spark. Just one, and I'll make myself believe that everything will happen the way I thought it would.

There's still a lot I want to talk to you about, but you won't talk. Being ignored hurts a lot more than I expected, but it's probably only because you're the one ignoring me.

And I thought that'd make it all easier. But there was always something about you. I could bitch and whine and curse at the situation for hours, but the second I heard your voice, it was like you never did anything wrong, and that's always how it was for some reason. I wanted to be mad at you. You deserved it. But I couldn't and it sucked because it just made it that much harder.