Ugh. I really don't want to think like this, but I can't help it. I told myself from the beginning that I was not going to run away from it this time around. I had to learn. And I wanted to learn. But now I'm telling myself that I've learned what I needed to, and it's not like I'm running from this. It's just bound to happen. I have more to learn though, and I know it. And I swear I'm not using you just to "learn". I like you, and I have for a long time.
As weird as it seems, I think I need to go back to school in order to figure out things here. I just have a feeling that when I get back, I'll know what to do. Too bad the timing would be horrible, though.
This was a rambling rant that will make absolutely no sense to anyone reading it.
"and I just can't get this off my mind
My voice it yells inside
It tells me all the time
That I could leave right now
Oh, it tears me up to see this place
green and a machine washed grey"
-The Early November
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