New Year Despair

In all honesty, I'm kind of scared for this new year. See, I believe that life always balances itself out. Two years ago, my best friend of the time had the worst year of his life, and I told him my little theory of sticking it out until the upcoming year, because the new year would be amazing for him. And guess what, it was the best year of his life. It's happend for me, and I've called it for other people too. With that said, 2008 seemed to have been my favorite year thus far, despite the dicks I ran into, my dad practically disowning me for a month, the financial struggles, etc. The way I see it, it'd be incredibly difficult to one-up 2008. And taking what was said of my little "theory", this year shouldn't be better than last. So far, it has started out on the wrong foot, anyway. I mean, in just the first week of 2009, I had a wake to attend and a benefit for a baby with brain cancer. Yeah, sounds like an awesome start to a new year. However, I also can not think of what can possibly go so terribly wrong this year, either, so I think I'll be okay. Well, I hope anyway.

I probably just jinxed myself or something.

Time to briefly expand on the last entry. I saw Pete only a few days before he died, and stupid, selfish, self-absorbed me decided to try avoiding him simply because I didn't feel like talking to him at the time. Little did I know it'd be the last chance I'd have to talk to him. And the scene of when I last saw him has been continuously replaying in my head since I found out he got hurt. I didn't think he was going to die. What's worse is that only a week or two before, I was talking about how a teacher of mine once said that nearly every class will have that kid that's going to die young, and I was like "Oh, I wonder who that'll be from my class, not like I'd care..." I mean, sure, I didn't associate with the vast majority of my class for reasons. I didn't care for most of them. So who would've thought that the one who would die would be a guy I actually did talk to? Nevermind the part that it happend a week after the fact.

God's funny sometimes, isn't he? There's a quote in this book I'm reading (I know, I know; who reads books anymore?) that says, "God is a comedian playing to an audience that is afraid to laugh." Yeah, I'd agree. These things can be entertaining if you look at it under a certain light. But I'm not laughing this time.

You know what I am kind of laughing at, though? Two people I wound up running into at the wake earlier that I hadn't seen in months/years. Just random, but it was a reminder that I think I needed to see.