Succumb to the Pressures

Optimism is shot to the ground by the skeptics bearing arms.

I was always quite the optimist until I met you. Then, that began to fade away beyond my control. I still don't really understand it, but you transformed me into some sort of skeptic. How you did it, I won't ever know. But now because of you, I'm skeptical about this one, too. I don't want this to happen all over again. I'm just afraid that after you, it's always going to be some kind of cycle that will never break. I can't live my life like that. But the circumstances that surround this one aren't really the best in the world, and I know that by jumping into this, I could be putting myself in the line of fire. I don't know whether I want it or not. I don't know whether it really is worth it.

I wonder what you would do if you knew all that I know. You think you have your secrets, but I know them all. I know your motives. I know why you're doing what you are, and personally, I think it's ridiculous. The way you seem to want to go about proving your "maturity" is actually one of the most immature things you'll do. Knowing your little secrets made me lose even more respect for you. You weren't what I thought you were cracked up to be. And you put something good on the backburner just so you can accomplish your little "goal". You lost the chance for something good. You won't have the opportunity back, because now that I've found out these things, I just don't want a part of you anymore. I know we all walk around saying that we live our lives free of regret, but I hope you regret this one. Honestly, I really think you will.

The waves crash down on me everyday.
You're not even close to what I thought you'd be.
The pressure
The pressure pushes me down further to drown.
It comes from all around me.
There's no escape.
The pressure
The pressure, it builds.

For the first time,
I feel like I have to be something I'm not.
Maybe hypocrisy is a natural tendency.
It shouldn't be fought.
It should be embraced.
Mindsets change.
This all started with you.

I can't stay this way forever.
These goals won't be met.
My values are far too untouchable.
This life was nothing but a dream.
Meeting you made me see

Maybe society does have its hold on me.
It's beneath my control.
I guess this is my destiny.
There's just no hope for me here.
Not if I stay this way.
Alone in the middle of the barren sea.

Have you ever felt like you were living life in some lifeless orb day in and day out? Things have really been starting to hit me lately, and I feel like I'm trapped in some kind of cell full of lifeless conformists who serve little to no purpose here. And what's worse is that I feel like these pointless things are holding me back from what I want my life to be. They're the bars that lock me in here, but there is a key. When I think about it, it's kind of an egotistical view on things. I hate admitting it, because I really hate to sound all arrogant and cocky, but a lot of times, I honestly do feel like the way I choose to live me life is better than most other people. And that mindset is what locks me into that cell. I put myself at a higher place, somewhere I may not belong, and then I feel alone up at the top with nowhere to go. But today, I kind of started to scare myself a little bit. I started really thinking about the pressures I've been beginning to witness, and realized that they're only going to grow more intense as time goes on. Especially hitting college. And I started to think that giving in to a certain one of those pressures is the only way I can survive and not be on my own forever. (btw, no, this is not about drinking) It was such a dumb thought to come to my head. I'm stronger than that. I have a hell of a lot more willpower than that. It's just frightening sometimes to think about yourself against society, and how standing up for what you believe in makes you such an outcast in the world. Being an individual leaves you alone.