I got accepted to University of Hartford today, which is pretty sweet since that's where I'm probably going to wind up going. I got another $12,000/year scholarship, and since my family is broke, I get a combined total of a little over $28,000 financial aid, so that's pretty sweet, too :]
//
Alright, so on to bigger and better things. I met this kid in the mall Sunday. His name was Tyler, and honestly, I was pretty inspired by his story. After basically playing a game of cat-and-mouse for a good 2 hours, I finally just wound up talking to him, and was suprised at what he decided to tell me right off the bat. Basically, he was sick of all the crap going on at home, so he ran away and found his way to the mall where he'd been alone for a few hours already. He was supposed to meet up with friends, but they all ditched him. He decided he wasn't going home until somebody came looking for him to show they cared, which he figured was not going to happen. So pretty much, he decided that he was going to spend the entire day in the mall, and when it closed, he was going to try to stay the night at a friend's house. This was the first time he really ran away from home for good. Other times, he'd just find himself under the bleachers alone at his school. His girlfriend broke up with him a few days before. He was broke, and could have sold a $90 necklace he brought recently, but instead, he decided to give it to his mom on the way out the door, figuring that maybe it would add a little bit of light in her day. He was having one of the worst days, but he's a tough kid. He broke 8 bones, but only got one fixed -- his elbow which came through his skin :x. He also told me that he liked his town just because there are always so many fights, and he's either in them all or doesn't hear about them. There was one fight he got into because some assholes called his friend gay when he really was. Tyler wound up getting stabbed in the hand during that fight. I saw all these scars. Pretty sick stuff, not gonna lie. He's in two bands and loves to make music. And he lost his faith in God after all this crap started happening to him.
//
He reminded me so much of another kid I know, but what I thought was even weirder was how much of myself I actually saw in this guy. Of course, I don't get into fights on a daily basis, and I haven't broken 8 bones, but there was a lot of emotional shit this kid went through that caused him to be and do all these different things, things that I, myself, have lived through and felt. I wish I could have explained to him how things will get better and how you need to get out of the mindset he put himself in to see that, because that's how I got out of it. That's the only reason I've really learned to love life, and I want him to see that, too. But you can only see that for yourself. These are things I don't talk about. But really, if there was just one thing I could have possibly done for him, I hope it was that I brought at least a little bit of light into his dark day. I know how much it means just to have someone there to listen to you, especially when you spend a whole day alone and feel worthless.
//
I've been doing a lot of writing in class lately, just ideas and stuff that could turn into really long songs or something. I get bored.
//
Justify the untold truth with your lies, then run to put on another disguise. I won't wait around here anymore, and you'll never win. Overdose on your own medicine. You will come back running in no time at all. I don't want to hear your cires; it's all your fault. They say, "Liar -- it takes one to know one" and you say the same. You're quick to choke on your own words. Hipocrisy overtakes your soul (Hipocrisy is your game). And in the end, you're the one left alone. As it turns out, this was your biggest sin. Overdose on your own medicine before you get the chance to learn this lesson.
//
All alone with a withered heartbeat, he wonders why you left him to take the blame. It's all that results from his parents' screams. He tries with all he has to stay sober, to stay above the harmful highs. It's too hard to deal. He doesn't want to call this hell home for another day. Takes his board and the few bucks he has and decides to get away. Takes that hundred dollar necklace he brought last week and places it in his mother's hands before he leaves. He figures that it may bring some light into her darkest days. This may be the last time she sees his eyes, the last he sees her attempt at a genuine smile. Out the door, he wonders why love is a lie, wonders why he always had to see his mother cry.
//
Hide alone under the bleachers day after day, whispering but not getting answers. "It's pointless, nothing but wishful thinking", and only then is when they pain truly sets in. Without a hand in front of you, you've lost your map, and the black never fades. Your eyes are covered by a sinful shade. Ungraceful child, you need a fix. Grab the hand, hold onto it.
//
All walls will be demolished today, leaving my vunerable bones standing alone. It's my last day, but it's the start of something new. Rays of heated gold brush my face. I miss what used to be. I don't want to know what could be.
^^^That one sucks, but it's part of this paper I'm writing in my creative writing class. Just thought I'd through it in here for fun.
No comments:
Post a Comment