Pessimistic Optimist

So if my mother actually decided to pretend to fill the role of "mother" today, I'd be in school at the moment. But instead, I'm sitting here for the third day in a row with absolutely nothing to do.

In about three months, we're all going to be going off to college. Whether people want it or not, changes are going to happen. It's bound to happen. Come on, we're pretty much all going to different places. Breaks and occasional weekends are going to be the only time we see each other in person, and that's obviously a lot different from now, where we see each other nearly every single day. Plus, when we go off to college, we will meet so many new people and make new close friends. Hell, we will be living in a room with somebody. I think new best friends are bound to be made...and no, it's not just me. And we will also learn new things about ourselves once we're thrown into a completely new setting. It happens and you can not stop it.

I've found that people get used to me being the optimist, and when I have realistic thoughts and share them for a minute, they get upset for some reason. Well, I don't know if "upset" is the right word, but they seem to get kind of let down. Like, "You know Stephanie, we go to you for those nice outlooks on the future. We can come up with this unfortunate crap ourselves." But for some reason, nobody seems to believe that things are going to change when we go to college and that I'm just making all this stuff up. I mean, we're already planning next year's spring break and who we should take along or not. Who's to say we're even going to be friends with those people in a year?

I guess it is all kind of depressing when you think about it, but I'm still looking foward to it all. Ideally, I wanted to go off to college without anybody from home being there. It's like a fresh new start that way. No rumors follow you, no false perceptions of who you once were linger with people. I mean, don't get me wrong, I am completely comfortable with who I am, and I don't want to change myself and become some different person when I leave. I love who I am, and there will be no inteded changes happening. But still, it'd be nice in a way to just be somewhere where no one ever knew your name. However, I do have a friend that's going to the same college as me. Not a super close friend, though. I can't change that, and it's fine. I guess it's nice to have at least one familiar face to fall back to when things get tough. I mean, I know things are not going to be so super easy to adjust to in the beginning. It'll be a fun time either way.

I can't wait to find out who my roommate will be. I bet I get the biggest partying alcoholic on campus who I will have to take care of at 3 in the morning as she pukes all over my bedroom floor. I'm so excited. No really, I am.