Please, Don't Leave Me Without Saying Goodbye

I didn't anticipate how this would all feel, but it all hit me at the end of the night on Sunday, saying goodbye to one person in particular. It finally sunk in that this isn't just some distant future event anymore. This is now. It's here, and I've already said goodbye to my best friend. Saying that we're going to see each other in October (hopefully, if we keep our fingers crossed that it can work out) is just so weird. Like, oh hey, what happend to September? Oh that's right, we'll be hundreds of miles away from each other in September... Ughh it's just a weird feeling right now. I'm the next to go, exactly a week from today, and that's a different weird feeling in itself.



Since like 8th grade, I've been looking foward to this, especially the whole shopping for the dorm part. But that (^) is not fun. That's just an annoying mess of crap, and it's not even close to being all of it. It's just what I packed up today.

But anyway, with there being only a week left for me, I'm realizing that the majority of the people I know, I won't see before I leave. Now here's the part where I'm the hypocrite. I think that with me leaving (or really with anyone leaving), it only makes sense for someone to tell you everything they want and everything they've been holding inside because really, who knows when they'll see you again. I have this idea in my head that everyone should just tell me things they were always afraid to tell me or something, because that's just what makes sense. But following the principle of that, I should do the same thing, and I know that's just not going to happen. At least, I won't be the one to start it off. That really is one thing I'd like to change about myself, and I really have put the effort into changing it. I don't like that I hold back my emotions and things I want to say. Doing that causes too many opportunities to slip away. I think I have progressed though, mainly this summer. I did let things out to the people that needed to hear them, but not the things that I feel are more important. I've always envied those who could just walk up to your face and say "Hey, I like you" and not be afraid to possibly get hurt a little bit; the kind of people who can openly express their feelings without a second thought. I've never been that person. You can't get the reward if you don't take the risk; we all know that. But sometimes fear and doubt get the best of us.