Calendars Have Expiration Dates.

Some things make you really appreciate life. Some things make you really appreciate the people you have in your life. And some things teach you the meaning of strength, hope, and what it truly means to be alive. This is one of those things.

Our days are numbered, but we never know what number we're on. So take every opportunity that comes to you. Don't put it off until next time because you're scared of rejection, embarrassment, or whatever. There may never be a next time. Maybe this will help you learn that. Our fears are just a waste of our time. They're a wall we build up ourselves, just out of cardboard bricks. It's not hard to break the wall down, so do it every time. There's nothing to lose, because everything that seems bad at the moment just diminishes after a while. Most things are never really as bad as we make them out to be.

Take a chance. Live life. Love life.

Always stay strong. It's unfortunate that sometimes, it takes events like this to put things into perspective, but I've always been a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Every event you encounter will teach you something and make you grow. There are positives to every situation if you look deep enough. I'm convinced that this happened to teach you strength, so don't fight it off. Embrace what you're given everyday, and remember, there's is always someone there who loves you.

Don't Fight It; Ride It

My life met a line, and upon meeting it, split itself in two. The good things in my life walked on one side of the line, while the bad walked to the other. Lately, I've been feeling as though both sides have complete switched places at once. It's not necessarily a bad thing because there are still the same amount of good things in my life, just not necessarily the things I expected, or even wanted to be good (or bad for that matter). Life is just strange sometimes, but I let it hold the reigns.

031908 I was right. I knew it would happen. You said it yourself.

Shades and Shadows

The more time you spend thinking about pain, the more it hurts.

I wouldn't put this feeling into the category of "pain", however. It's more of frustration and doubt than anything else. Just the fact that this has happened for the second time in a row now, it just kind of makes you question people in general. It makes me question whether anyone is genuine anymore. For the second time in a row, I get screwed over in nearly identical ways. Someone says one thing while doing another thing behind my back -- a big thing. And then I find out by people just telling me. I confront the person; they lie. And then no more than a week later, their lies are exposed and I'm ditched for the girl hidden behind their back. And both times, everybody thought everything was so perfect. All of you guys told me not to believe this other guy, that all he was doing was feeding me bullshit lies to win me over him. Well look who was telling the truth now. I told you all along. I know who to believe about these things. Sincerity is radiated to those you stand next to. Anyone can see through insincerity.

Hanging onto a piece of the past
A piece that won't last
Unless those faulty eyes are uncovered
You live in a life of light
But your eyes see nothing more than darkness

Cut the strings tonight
Your hands raised to the sky
The stars won't abide the words spilling from tongue
You swore you had all that you wanted
I told you you won

Doubt and despair are the foundation
Damn my creation
Unless these heavy eyes are opened
I live in a life of deceit
But my eyes see nothing more than honesty

The shadows behind the curtains can only be seen in dim light
The darkness can't be defeated
Cut the strings tonight

Still Pointless.

Just because...
"amand3r s (10:36:39 PM): hes a silly kid
BambiButterfly24 (10:37:07 PM): haha ya loser
BambiButterfly24 (10:37:12 PM): take it slow, girl, take it slow
BambiButterfly24 (10:37:13 PM): lol
amand3r s (10:37:19 PM): I DIDNT DO IT HE DID
BambiButterfly24 (10:37:24 PM): i know
BambiButterfly24 (10:37:27 PM): hah i'm just saying
amand3r s (10:37:29 PM): hahaha
BambiButterfly24 (10:37:35 PM): you're like "i love it. he's a flirt" blahblahblah
BambiButterfly24 (10:37:38 PM): just making sure lol
BambiButterfly24 (10:37:41 PM): chill it up
BambiButterfly24 (10:37:45 PM): put it in the freezer
BambiButterfly24 (10:37:46 PM): baby
amand3r s (10:37:49 PM): ahahahahahahah
BambiButterfly24 (10:37:56 PM): hah.
amand3r s (10:38:00 PM): i love you"

That is what our life amounts to.

Anyways. I no longer feel bad about everything I did, because you obviously weren't all that sweet and innocent yourself. You lie, you deciet, but you do put on a good show. TV show that is. How about you learn the meaning of "integrity" before you step out your door and open your mouth again. Sounds good to me.

I'm afraid to dive into the waters. Be my lifeguard to make me feel safe? ;)
I'm ridiculous. Seriously, why do you read these things?

Bamboozle Bragging.

Lol, look, it's me at Bamboozle during Set Your Goals:

Right up at the barricade, bitches. Because when I say I'm getting as close to the stage as possible for my favorite band, I mean it.

And I met Jared of Blessthefall (the one in the brown shirt). And not just at a signing like "Oh hey, sign this thanks bye". No. I met him and it was glorious. I got a hug and an autograph and a conversation and him telling me he loves me. After I told him I love him and his band twice. haha. Envy me.

And of course, there was a lot more fun and memories. Such as these silly kids:

And I'm obviously just bored and felt like posting pictures and bragging because, well, why not.

Anyways, prom is stressing me out and I need a date. Any takers? I'm dead serious. Don't be shy. Whoever gets to me first wins. Everyone's like "Oh Stephanie, shut up. You know you're going to have a date...You have [this many] guys to choose from. blahblahblah" No, I don't know I'm going to have a date. No, I don't know who to go with. No, I don't want to deal with this crap. Which is why I've put it off until a week before the date papers are due. Stupid.

One of these days, I need to get back to writing something meaningful in here.

Hide Behind Those Frames

You wear your sunglasses at night.

Shady, shady...

Pessimistic Optimist

So if my mother actually decided to pretend to fill the role of "mother" today, I'd be in school at the moment. But instead, I'm sitting here for the third day in a row with absolutely nothing to do.

In about three months, we're all going to be going off to college. Whether people want it or not, changes are going to happen. It's bound to happen. Come on, we're pretty much all going to different places. Breaks and occasional weekends are going to be the only time we see each other in person, and that's obviously a lot different from now, where we see each other nearly every single day. Plus, when we go off to college, we will meet so many new people and make new close friends. Hell, we will be living in a room with somebody. I think new best friends are bound to be made...and no, it's not just me. And we will also learn new things about ourselves once we're thrown into a completely new setting. It happens and you can not stop it.

I've found that people get used to me being the optimist, and when I have realistic thoughts and share them for a minute, they get upset for some reason. Well, I don't know if "upset" is the right word, but they seem to get kind of let down. Like, "You know Stephanie, we go to you for those nice outlooks on the future. We can come up with this unfortunate crap ourselves." But for some reason, nobody seems to believe that things are going to change when we go to college and that I'm just making all this stuff up. I mean, we're already planning next year's spring break and who we should take along or not. Who's to say we're even going to be friends with those people in a year?

I guess it is all kind of depressing when you think about it, but I'm still looking foward to it all. Ideally, I wanted to go off to college without anybody from home being there. It's like a fresh new start that way. No rumors follow you, no false perceptions of who you once were linger with people. I mean, don't get me wrong, I am completely comfortable with who I am, and I don't want to change myself and become some different person when I leave. I love who I am, and there will be no inteded changes happening. But still, it'd be nice in a way to just be somewhere where no one ever knew your name. However, I do have a friend that's going to the same college as me. Not a super close friend, though. I can't change that, and it's fine. I guess it's nice to have at least one familiar face to fall back to when things get tough. I mean, I know things are not going to be so super easy to adjust to in the beginning. It'll be a fun time either way.

I can't wait to find out who my roommate will be. I bet I get the biggest partying alcoholic on campus who I will have to take care of at 3 in the morning as she pukes all over my bedroom floor. I'm so excited. No really, I am.